Some recent fave pics

my lovely current wallpaper!

me and mom - a nice one we took when we went china in june

me and dots before she left for london

me and wheels

My Dental Recount

Allow me to share with you what the Lord taught me during my visit to the dentist.

Today at 9:14am I stepped out of my house for doom and torture set to begin at 9:30am.

I made my way towards the dental clinic.

I had braced myself for a few weeks, since my lower right molar started to hurt. I just KNEW what was going to happen. I'd lay there, the doctor would shine the light down into my teeth, and after a few checks with the round mirror inserted into my mouth she'd and say "Sandra, OK I see about 4 big cavities ah. You see?" (Then she'd show them to me one by one.) "I don't think I'm going to be done with you in today's appointment. I'll just clean your teeth for today, but you'll have to re-schedule an appointment next week." This was what happened during my last visit in september.
.....

I arrived the clinic right on time, but had to wait till about 9:53am before it was my turn. During my wait I assured myself. Sandra, if the Lord has called you to do something, His grace will be sufficient to bring you through it. Come on, it's just a little pain. You can take it.

The nurse opened the door. "Sandra? Come in..." Dr. Leong, a woman in her forties, has the same pair of motherly eyes, and it's especially warming when she smiles. It occurred to me that her face remains a mystery, for she always has her mask on.

After a few greetings, just before I could lay myself down, I said "I need to tell you that I've been feeling a pain on my lower right molar, and so if it's a very deep cavity, could you please give me an anesthetic jab?" She smiled and said, "Let's see how it goes."

So the torment began. I laid down and she shone the very bright light into my mouth. Nothing could be hidden, not with the combination of the little round mirror dancing around my teeth. How apt. Just a few minutes ago, while trying to take my mind off the impending anxiety, I was reading Dr. Henry Cloud's book on Boundaries, and he mentioned this: "because of our fears, we hide aspects of ourselves in the darkness, where the devil has an opportunity... [but] healing always takes place in the light." I've been hiding in the dark for too long, having avoided the dentist for about 14 months now.

I began to pray. Take my life now, Lord! Or knock me out unconscious. Let everything happen when I'm unaware. Your grace is sufficient, right? Right, Lord? No, there wasn't any booming voice with the assuring "Yes, My child..." or anything like that.

It hadn't even been a minute when Dr. Leong turned off the bright light, lifted the chair and said "Come Sandra, let's take an X-ray to find out.", to which I responded by dilating my pupils with mouth wide open for about 8 seconds. Grace, Lord Jesus. Grace...

I sat on the X-ray chair, was instructed to use my finger to keep an X-ray card upright in my teeth, and praise the Lord for efficient technology - the x-ray took a grand total of 4 seconds.
Dread continues. I walked back to the dental chair, laid down, and Dr. Leong said she will clean my teeth while waiting for the X-ray result. Great! This is the fun part. The rubbing of some sweetish thing against my teeth. Before she did that, however, she took a sharp thing and lined it against the area near my gums, and this brough a little pain especially to my lower incisors. I hated that already - and I had to brace myself for more. It would be any time now, before she would have to reveal the news that I had x number of cavities. I tried to distract myself. Thank You Jesus.... for Your love to me.... Thank You Jesus... for Your grace so free.... All the time my hands tightly clasped.

While doing all the cleaning she took a look at the X-ray photo, after which she returned it to the nurse and went right on continuing the business on my teeth. She's so kind, I thought, to hold back the news till later. Surely she's gonna tell me that the cavities reached my inner nerves and the molar needs an extraction.

With every time she instructed me to rinse my mouth and to lay back down on my seat, I just had to brace myself for more, because I just knew the journey in this room would be long.
Suddenly my eyes caught Dr. Leong lifting up the daunting huge needle with green liquid inside. SO FAST?? She hasn't even explained that I need an anesthetic jab and she's already doing it??? Maybe it's good. The less I know, the better. But all I felt was a cool trickling around my teeth. She was spraying it on them! PHEW!

"Sandra, rinse your teeth." PHEW!!!! But I had to catch myself. It's just the beginning, don't rejoice too soon.

After about another 3 minutes of rather painless cleaning, she said "OK Sandra, I'll take my mirror so that you can see..." She reached for a mirror somewhere, then put it right before my eyes, while showing me my teeth. "Can you see the tiny white teeth deep inside?" Gosh! WISDOM TOOTH! I never knew I had one! "It's your wisdom tooth, and it's the cause of the pain you've been feeling. Also you can see that you haven't kept it very clean around that region."

She then turned off the dental light, lifted the chair, then explained further. "Your wisdom teeth is very small because there's no space for it to grow. You might need to be admitted to hospital to undergo a surgery if it continues to give you problems, but if it doesn't, then you can come back later, and we'll see how it goes from there."

I didn't dare assume anything, but I saw the MOST INCREDIBLE THING: the nurse started to remove the apron around me, and she threw away the plastic cup I used to rinse my mouth! So in utter disbelief I asked Dr. Leong, "So that's it for today?"

"Yes. That's it for today."

"I have no cavities??"

"No, no cavities." She smiled. "Remember? Last time I drilled into you to brush your teeth correctly, so you've improved!"

I really, really, really, REALLY couldn't believe it. "OH MY GOODNESS... Every dental visit for the last don't-know-how-many years I've had at least 3 cavities each..." I was in deep shock and relief!!!

After some profuse thanking, I left the clinic, AMAZED at how this must have been the quickest dental appointment I've ever had in my life, and had to try to look calm while waiting to pay the bill - deep inside my heart was pounding, my mind thanking the Lord profusely and bowled over by how He REALLY shocked me by the grace He showed me.



This dental appointment taught me 2 things.

1. I could try to hide for as long as I want to, but one day I would have to visit the dentist, and all my teeth would have to be exposed, naked, under the dentist's light.

But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.
Therefore He says, "Awake, sleeping ones! And arise from the dead, and Christ shall give you light!"
See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

And this dental exposure only foreshadows the greater exposure that is to come.
Everything will be put under the bright light of the Lord Jesus Christ one day.
Will I be ready?
Will I be awake?
Will I find myself like I was today at the clinic, shuffling my feet nervously, worrying about how I have not been consistently using Listerine, or brushing my molars carefully?

Will I find myself deeply embarrassed before the face of the Lord Jesus, my heart begging "Lord! Give me another chance?? Not now..." ?
Or will I beam at the Lord, confidently saying "Lord, I've done what You've called me to do.
"I've run my race, I've fought the good fight, I know I'm clean before You. I'm ready to meet You." ?




2. This dental appointment revealed my tiny threshold of pain. My corwardly spirit.

But the cowardly, and the unbelieving, and the abominable, and murders, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, will have their part in the Lake burning with fire and brimstone, which is the second death. Rev 21:8

If a little drill on my incisor stirs up this much dread, fright and discomfort from within me, how will I take it when I get hit by electric batons in jails, or slapped, or beaten, or whipped, if I get persecuted for the glory of the Lord?
May the Lord give you and me dying grace, but more so, a heavenly-mindedness, that we will know in our spirits that we may suffer for as long as we are in our temporal physical body, but if we are born twice, we only die once. The temporary pain will come to an end, thereafter we enter into paradise with the Lord Jesus. Wouldn't we be encountering ETERNAL joy, never feeling tired? Or pain?
Change my perspectives, O Lord, that I won't be found a cowardly soldier of the Lord!